Bye

Hi,

Have been busy. Also, have just returned from my uncle’s wake. (Am currently waiting for the bathroom to be free.)

58 is a little too early but colon cancer moves fast.

It was pretty weird seeing his twin brother walking around smoking while I stared at his glamour photo from afar.

Also, I committed the faux pas of wearing red. But we had to leave immediately after I reached home and I didn’t have time to change. I did have time to gulp down a bowl of red bean soup though, so I guess it’s a matter of priorities… this is probably an indication of my generation’s superstition level or maintaining traditions.

Actually, the main reason was because I am a blur kok and didn’t know.

It always amazes me that a wake is a place for relatives to gather and make merry.

Am physically drained and slightly apprehensive about Life.

The Fallability of Life

This week has had me revolving around the theme of Death once more, only not so much in my head. It’s slightly alarming that nowadays I think about what happens after death and don’t go into slight panic-attacks anymore.

Does it mean that I’ve grown up? Or merely become tired and desensitized to lingering affections of the conscience after my flesh becomes ash?

Perhaps the part that scares me most is the uncertainty of what exactly happens after Death. After all, I break into cold-sweat whenever I have to step into a dark room. I need to know what lies ahead!

Anyway, The week started with me reading up on interesting lists of dying as a condemned:

Top 10 Gruesome Methods of Execution

10 More Gruesome Methods of Execution

Death by Scaphism is particularly interesting- it’s such a nice word, and also a very torturous way to go. I am in awe of Mankind’s ingenuity. Now if only we could channel such creativity to, I dunno, making paper airplanes that can actually fly :P

Conversations within the family coincidentally touched upon the subject of Death, albeit in a light-hearted way. Ti was reading a an issue of The New Scientist in the car and he asked Pa what AIDS stood for, to which I gladly gave him the answer. After that he asked what HIV stood for, and I happily told him that too. And then he asked what the difference between AIDS and HIV was, and I chirpily babbled on in the car.

(Actually I was quite shocked that he didn’t know! … Or am I weird for knowing a little bit too much about this?)

Pa and Ti bothed laughed and said I should have studied Medicine. And I went, no way, I don’t want to be responsible for other people’s lives. Pa then said that I should mix my interest in art with my other interest in Forensics.

Ti immediately replied that in other words, Pa was giving me the job description of an embalmer.  You know, making dead people look pretty. LOL!

This evening, Pa fetched me home from school again and we passed by a super long truck with huge slabs of concrete slanted on both sides (think perhaps in terms of 4 by 5 metres). I asked if we could survive should one of those slabs fall on our car.

Apparently even the car would be flattened. In Pa’s words, we would be like a Mickey Mouse pancake.

The thought distressed me.

On a lighter note, Kooling mentioned the site Witty Quotes and a few struck me as well:

life, n.: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I guess that’s the end.

ULTIMATE COMBO STRIKES AGAIN ♥

I JUST SAW 2 VERSIONS OF THE GRAVEYARD BOOK ON A WHIMSICAL TRIP TO POPULAR JUST NOW.

OMG NEIL GAIMAN & DAVE MCKEAN OR NEIL GAIMAN AND UNKNOWN BUT ALSO PRETTY ILLUSTRATOR???

…I couldn’t find a link to the second version of the book (with the unknown illustrator). But I found this:

Neil Gaiman Gives Away The Graveyard

Goth god and New York Times best-selling author Neil Gaiman is giving away his new work, The Graveyard Book, one chapter at a time.

Gaiman is on a nine-city tour, reading through different chapters of the book each night. The readings are being videotaped and streamed at Mouse Circus, Gaiman’s website for young readers.

…

In the video interview (embedded), we ask him about The Graveyard Book and why he’s giving it away. Gaiman explains that his new book is a reworking of Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book, only instead of animals, Nobody’s mentors are mostly dead people.

Or just skip over to watch the vids of the readings if you’re so eager :D

I STILL WANT TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATIONSSS!!!!! My gushing about it to Pa after dinner made him look at me funny, wth.

Got a link to a very sad project. The gallery and the accompanying texts are digging up the fear of Death that I’ve been trying to hide.

My excitement about books and Ally’s new hair is now dampened.

Mortality

It struck me again, for a brief moment.

I live in mortal fear of Death.

To be more concise, I fear for the erasure of my consciousness after my body expires.

Does it exist as a separate entity from the material body? Or is it linked to the neurons in the brain, which, as it turns out, start shrinking into oblivion once a lack of oxygen is eminent?

I don’t want to disappear.

Becoming a ghost has been the default choice of my afterlife. It is a sort of immortality after all.

All these thoughts resurfaced after a full stomach and a day’s happiness meeting and crapping with schoolmates. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if it does so just because subconsciously, I feel guilty Living.

Oh well. Time to get a start on the local blogosphere gossip. Something about XX being sued by DY.

Seriousness aside, Living = Procrastination of Death. It’s a matter of skill and I’m honing it.

Afterworld

I read the very thin Discworld novel, Eric, today.

Something about people going to hell only if they believe in it (and that is why missionaries should be shot on sight haha!) made me realise that my vision of an afterlife is being alone in limbo in a black place with distant stars.

Not the same as the universe, but close enough.

Hell would probably be a better place than that, and the thought made me sad.

Solemn News

This evening we got the news that my cousin died this morning.

It’s a distant relative, one I have no memory of during Chinese New Year family gatherings.

He is… was, 9 years old.

I know I’m supposed to feel sad, but somehow I’m relieved that wasn’t someone closer to my heart.

Take care while crossing the roads and beware of deceptively slow-moving lorries going in reverse.

You know I love you all.

Stalker Senses

So well, I seem to have incredible luck with stalking blogs sometimes. Today I found a mystery, and acting upon my spider stalker senses, solved it.

It is a cheap thrill to the power of n, but extremely thrilling nonetheless. I’m about to explode just wanting to tell someone about it! But I won’t. Not yet. XDDDD